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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29497917">Synthesis</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/harmony88/pseuds/harmony88'>harmony88</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Forever With You: Part 2 [12]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Doctor Who (2005)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anniversary, F/M, Happy Ending, Romance, Sexual Content, episodic, fluff and action, lots of feels</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 01:06:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>12,251</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29497917</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/harmony88/pseuds/harmony88</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>COMPLETE </p><p>On the Doctor &amp; Rose's two year wedding anniversary, they go shopping for baby clothes, and find themselves running for their lives. </p><p> <i>“Yeah, but our brains are stronger,” he said. “Vortex.” </i></p><p> <i>He tapped his head then hers and she smirked despite the situation and he chuckled, trying to lighten the mood a little. Rose looked at him, watching his jaw clench.  </i></p><p> <i>“Do I still have to stay in here? Instincts are telling -” Rose began, and he just looked at her. </i></p><p> <i>“I don’t trust anything right now,” he said seriously. “And I need you safe. Both of you.” She nodded, not in the mood to fight with him, and he looked back out the window. “It stopped.”</i></p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Tenth Doctor/Rose Tyler</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Forever With You: Part 2 [12]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2111892</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>97</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Anniversaries</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>If you haven't read the previous series "Forever With You", especially the final story, small references may be missed. Thanks for reading! Also, this is my 40th story in this universe between the two series which just seems crazy, and I just want to thank everyone so much for readying, reviewing, leaving kudos and subscribing! This is a wonderful little hobby I've stumbled into and I hope you're liking these adventures! xoxo</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She’s convinced Artron Energy makes her better at sex. </p><p>Her body collapsed against his, sweaty and flushed, every single limb tingling from the increased sensations they had both felt. She smiled a little as she slowly rolled to his side, leaving her head on his chest as he stayed still, his mind completely dazed, and she found herself biting her lip, remembering the last time she had that same thought. </p><p>The day they got forever. </p><p>One year ago exactly, as today was their second wedding anniversary, and so far they had mostly stayed in bed. They got up to eat at one point, but it had been an exhausting six days since their trip to Marbella, full of small scuffles that kept them preoccupied from their goal of getting back to the Satellite. They almost went there today, but the thought of holding each other close and doing nothing was a little too enticing. </p><p>He must have realized this, because suddenly his arms were around her, firm and strong, and he was pressing his lips to her hair, small, quick pecks that still sent a shudder through her and he chuckled, letting his final kiss linger a little longer than the others. </p><p>“Happy Anniversary,” he whispered for about the tenth time that day. </p><p>“Happy Anniversary, Doctor,” she said, laughing a little at how much he loved saying it and tilted her head just a little to look up at him. “One year of forever.” </p><p>He grinned at her, pulling her closer somehow and began to rub his hand along the back of her head. “I dunno. I reckon we’ve had five.” </p><p>“Yeah?” she said, and he nodded, looking at the orbs on the ceiling. </p><p>“It’s all been part of forever. Ever since you took my hand,” he murmured and she smiled, shifting to look at the orbs with him. </p><p>“I love you,” she cooed in Gallifreyan, and he said it back. Both of their hands brushed over her stomach, which was slightly more pronounced than it was a week ago. She snuggled her cheek into his neck, breathing in his scent and they just laid there for a while longer, until she eventually rolled out of bed to use the loo, and he felt her stomach grumble through their bonds. </p><p>He walked back in less than five minutes later with some apples and peanut butter, which, for some reason, had been her most recent craving. She was wrapped in a robe, sitting on the bed, and he stopped when he saw her, realizing she was looking at his notebook. </p><p>It still made him forget how to speak, seeing her with it. </p><p>“What’s this word?” she said, flipping the page to him. He handed her the plate and she quickly took a bite, and he glanced down, feeling his stomach flip over. </p><p>“I forgot I wrote that,” he said quietly. He didn’t say anything else, and she just watched him for a moment, setting the plate on her bedside table. His face was suddenly a little more stoic than it was a moment ago, and the vein in his neck was pulsing. It wasn’t something anyone other than her would probably notice, but she just took the book back, flipping the page. He just closed his eyes for a second, debating whether he should tell her, before he shrugged, because of course he would.</p><p> “It’s the Master’s name. His…” </p><p>She stared at him, and he just sat on the bed, reaching for a piece of apple. </p><p>“I’m sorry,” she whispered, and he just shook his head. </p><p>“No, it’s...that invention was his idea. I wrote his name there so I wouldn’t forget to ask him about it,” he said. “It’s fine. Clearly <i>that</i> never happened. Long time ago.” </p><p>Rose just bit her lip and noticed every muscle as it tightened just a little around his eyes and mouth, and she closed the notebook, reaching for his hand. “I didn’t mean -” </p><p>“I really don’t want to think about him today,” he said with a small smile. </p><p>“Okay,” she said, and he smiled genuinely at her, assuring her he wasn’t upset as he leaned in and gave her a kiss. Her hand cupped the back of his head for a moment, the sour flavor of the green apple tangoing with her tongue and she pulled away, letting out a breath. “Thank you for the apples.”  </p><p>He smiled, “Course.” He winked at her and they both nibbled on a few more slices, holding hands, but the air felt different now and she began to run her other hand along her shin, watching him. “Rose, I’m fine.” </p><p>“I know,” she said. “I just feel bad.” </p><p>“Don’t,” he declared, squeezing her hand. “Please.” </p><p>They just looked at each other and Rose nodded, finishing her apple and leaning back against the bed frame, deciding to change the subject to something happier as she felt her bump. “I think I may need to go get some new clothes soon.” </p><p>“Why?” he teased, and she just let her tongue play with its usual spot as she looked at him, and he laughed. “You wanna go now?” </p><p>“No,” she said, pulling him to her. “It’s our anniversary.” </p><p>“So?” he said softly, moving his body so it was on top of hers and kissing her. “That sounds like a wonderful day to me.” </p><p>“Doctor, you’ll get bored and start rambling at me within ten minutes,” she said, smiling at him. He just shook his head. </p><p>“Not this time,” he whispered. She sighed. </p><p>“We can go tomorrow. Go to Mum’s. I can meet Donna and Martha and you can play with Tony and then we can all go to the Satellite, maybe,” she offered, and he kissed her chest, slowly moving down to her stomach. She bit her lip, shaking her head a little and ran her hand through his hair. His tongue brushed her skin and she laughed. “I don’t think I can go again, you wore me out, mister.” </p><p>He flashed her a seductive smile, pulling her robe apart anyway to reveal her belly, and he peppered small kisses on it that made her toes curl a little. “That’s my kid in there.” </p><p>“What?!” she gasped, acting completely shocked, and he just laughed a little, kissing her stomach again. </p><p>“There’s something about...I can’t explain it, Rose, but I would love to go shopping today. Especially today,” he whispered, sending her a rush of emotions that told her just how serious he was. </p><p>“Okay,” she said, watching him kiss her belly again, then again, before he moved to place his lips on hers. “Just a few things. I’ll have to go again in a few weeks -” </p><p>“I have an idea,” he said, winking at her. “Don’t worry.” </p><p>“What’s that mean?” she asked, smiling at him, but he just made a happy sound and rolled off the bed, and she watched as he changed, noticing he opted away from his Oxford and tie for a henley, the way he often dressed before the parallel world. </p><p>She knew at this moment he was preparing in case they decide to have sex at some point again today. The more seconds he could potentially save, the better. </p><p>He flashed her a smile, and she realized she shared that thought with him. </p><p>“Does it look alright?” he asked, sniffing casually, and she just rolled her eyes. </p><p>“Oi, I’m not stroking your ego,” she said. “Other parts of you, maybe. If you play your cards right.” </p><p>He hummed a little at her words and she laughed, moving to the ensuite while he clicked his jaw, watching her go.  </p><p>“I’ll hold you to that!” he shouted through the door, and smiled as he moved to the console room, getting everything ready. </p><p>She emerged a few minutes later freshened up in yoga pants and an oversized jumper, and he held his hand out, smiling like an idiot at her. “It’s warm out there, you sure you want to wear that?”</p><p>“I love this jumper,” she defended, leaning her head on his shoulder.</p><p>“Do you at least have a shirt or something underneath? I’m not kidding, this place has one of the warmest climates in the galaxy. It’s perfectly safe, quite lovely in fact, it’s just...hot,” he said. She cupped his cheek. </p><p>“Would it make you feel better?” she asked, and he just sighed, not wanting to sound completely pathetic, and she just smiled, pulling the jumper off and leaving it on the controls. </p><p>He just looked at her, tracing her face for a moment, silently thanking her before he ultimately moved to the door. “Allons-y, Rose Tyler!”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Let Me Save You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The warmth wrapped around her instantly, and she was glad he pushed her to wear this instead. She looked down at the ground, where she could see the ripple of heatwaves rising into the air, and he glanced up, noticing the TARDIS had landed in the heart of the shopping district. He pulled her along, taking it all in, smiling. </p><p>“Welcome to Corada!” he said.</p><p>He began to ramble like usual, telling her the history of the planet, but after a few minutes she was sweating profusely and she threw her hair up into a ponytail. He had a moment where he debated turning around and leaving, concerned by the amount of perspiration he didn’t expect to see on her forehead and she just kissed his shoulder. </p><p>“I’m fine, just pregnant. Tell me more,” she assured him. </p><p>“Come here,” he said, holding his hand to her forehead and then scanning her. “You still shouldn’t be sweating like this.” She smirked, finding him rather adorable when he worried about her and he just sighed when he saw she was fine and he squeezed her hand, kissing her. “Tell me if it’s too much. We won’t stay long. There’s just one shop I thought we could -” </p><p>“What’re those buildings?” she asked instead of letting him worry, pointing to the modest skyscrapers in the distance. He bit his cheek and began to tell her about the ‘downtown’ part of the planet and they watched as cars zoomed by. They looked nothing like how they do on Earth; they were thinner and only had two wheels, and Rose noticed they seemed to fit an absurd amount of passengers inside, to which the Doctor winked. </p><p>“Bigger on the inside,” he said, and she burst out laughing. </p><p>He got her something cool to drink from a coffee cart as they walked into one of the shops, where something akin to air conditioning hit her instantly, and she bit her lip when she realized it was a clothing store. </p><p>She started to walk around, perusing each rack, and this part, she thought, felt very much like Earth. He felt better when he saw she was no longer sweating and chatted a little with the teller, a kind woman with scales on her skin reminiscent of a snake. He knew it looked like that so she could withstand the heat and he eventually walked up to Rose, pulling out a purple top. </p><p>“So what is about this place that makes it so special?” she asked, her deductive face smiling at him. He hummed. </p><p>“It’s practical. The fabric here is made with a special kind of material,” he began. “It will mold into whatever shape you need it to. So you can wear them throughout your entire pregnancy if you want to, even after.” </p><p>“There’s clothing on Earth that basically does that,” she said, holding a dress up to a mirror. </p><p>“This is better,” he said, winking. </p><p>She trusted him completely and just smiled, throwing the dress over her arm as they continued to look around. They were laughing with each other, and for a few minutes he purposely chose the ugliest things he could find just to see what her reaction would be, and he mentally patted himself on the back when he predicted each one accurately, and the teller was watching with a small smile, thinking they were rather cute. </p><p>“How did you even know about this shop?” Rose eventually asked as they walked into a dressing room. The teller ignored the fact that the Doctor had walked in with her, and he pulled the curtain closed behind him. </p><p>She was setting the clothes down and he just looked at her, watching as she started to change. She noticed immediately what he meant about the material being better than anything she could find on Earth. There seemed to be some sort of temperature control inside and she felt perfectly comfortable for the first time since stepping off the TARDIS the moment her skin was covered. She turned to him, giving him a smile. </p><p>“Told you,” he said, winking. “Hot flashes will begin eventually, especially in Time Lord pregnancies. All that Arton Energy. Could be useful.” </p><p>“Can’t wait,” she said, rolling her eyes. “You never answered my question.” </p><p>“I’m 907 years old, I can’t be expected to remember how I know all the things I do,” he said, shrugging, and she moved to him so he could tie the back of the new shirt she was wearing. She nibbled her lip and played with her wedding ring, sensing deflection that made her weary of asking anymore questions, so she chose not to. Instead, she looked herself over in the mirror, debating. </p><p>“I can’t tell if I like it,” she said, and he looked more closely, too. </p><p>“I do,” he said, and she smiled, peeling it off and adding it to her keep pile. </p><p>She went through a few more things, separating what she wanted and what she didn’t including shirts, pants, and a few dresses, and he bantered with her the entire time, both feeling rather giddy and happy. </p><p>She eventually put on her final item, a blue dress that for some reason made her bump look more pronounced, and they both stopped talking. </p><p>“Wow,” she whispered, turning to her side. He couldn’t think, and he was fairly certain he forgot how to stand because all he was able to do was look at her, a mirage of emotions hitting him like a tidal wave. </p><p>“Rose…” he somehow croaked, and she looked at him. </p><p>“I’m pregnant,” she whispered. “Like...actually pregnant.” </p><p>He stared some more and she just shook her head, her hand resting on the bottom part of her still fairly small bump, and she realized it was a combination of the color of the dress and the lighting in the room that was making it look bigger. </p><p>It wouldn’t be long before it actually was that size, she knew. </p><p>He stood behind her, unaware of how he managed to do it and he wrapped his arms around her, too, both brushing her stomach as he started to kiss her neck, and she leaned against him. “You look…so beautiful.” </p><p>His heartrate was rapid in her ring and she bit her lip, almost saying ‘considering’, but she didn’t. Instead she just smiled, running her hand over his as it rested on her abdomen. </p><p>Her sweet honey had mixed with pregnancy pheromones, and the combination of that realization and the way she looked at the moment was driving him insane, coupled with the knowledge that this was their anniversary and they had forever, and he couldn’t stop touching her. </p><p>It was like clockwork, their desire for each other. Always had been, probably always will be, and despite their rendezvous earlier that day, they both felt it all over again. </p><p>“This one goes in the keep pile, yeah?” he asked, his voice like butter in her ear and her breath hitched.</p><p>“Yeah,” she said, and she sent him an image of her pulling his hair and he moaned a little. She turned to face him, kissing him as he pushed her against the mirror, his passion nearly getting the better of him for a moment. </p><p>“Rose…” he said with urgency, his hands doing things to her she couldn’t begin to understand. He cursed, which made her pool in his arms, and he just pressed his body against hers more. “I…” </p><p>“Want you. Now,” she panted. He made a noise, his hands gripping her waist and rubbed over the fabric, and he kissed her again, then again, his tongue taking control and she whimpered, when suddenly the curtain swung open. They broke apart, and the teller was staring at them, a small apologetic smile on her face. </p><p>“My manager said you have to get out,” she said softly. “Congratulations, by the way. On the baby.” </p><p>“Thanks,” the Doctor said, his voice thick. The teller avoided eye contact as they walked away and the Doctor looked back at Rose. “That was actually public indecency, wasn’t it?” </p><p>“Worth it,” she said, breathless, and he laughed, separating his body from hers and taking a  deep breath. </p><p>“Just do me a favor?” he said, and she looked at him. “Keep that on.” </p><p>“Okay,” she said with a saucy grin, knowing he was asking for multiple reasons. He looked her over once more, shaking his head at the feelings she managed to stir up in him as he stepped out of the room. </p><p>He tried not to think about her naked beneath him but it was rather impossible, and he eventually met her at the register, where she proceeded to try and distract them both by making some comment in her mind to him about how Earth-like the entire check-out exchange was and he smirked, handing the teller some money.</p><p>“Where are you two from?” she asked. </p><p>“Oh, far away, just passing through,” he said, smiling, and the woman just nodded. </p><p>“Well, welcome. Hope you found all you’re looking for,” she said, and they both nodded and smiled at her as they took the bag and walked out the doors. </p><p>“Thank you,” Rose said, smiling up at him as they held hands, and he looked at her adoringly. “Any other stops?” </p><p>“No,” he said lovingly, “I’d like to just…” </p><p>“What?” she said, biting her lip, and he just sighed, finding himself in a moment where he was trying to process how any of this was possible once again. </p><p>His wife. </p><p>“Hold you,” he said, stopping to look at her. “Make love again. Maybe a few times. A few different ways. Anniversary and all.” </p><p>He winked and she kissed him, which he deepened almost instantly. She was still wearing the blue dress, but in the sunlight her bump looked smaller, like they both knew it actually was. He still found her entirely more captivating than anything else in the entire cosmos as they continued to walk back toward the TARDIS, his hand on the small of her back and sending sensations straight to her gut. She bit her lip, telling herself they were grown, married adults and could wait until they were home and not just pull him into one of the loos in one of these shops and...</p><p>“These clothes are wonderful,” she said, “Not sweating even a little bit now.” </p><p>“Good,” he said, winking. She laughed and they kept walking, still a little handsy when he tried to tickle her, both trying to distract from their hormones and she slipped a little, and they both laughed as he caught her. They looked down, and Rose saw the Doctor’s face fall. </p><p>Something white was covering the sidewalk, and it looked like snow. </p><p>“It’s so hot, how?” she asked, confused, and she knelt down beside him. They looked at each other when they both pulled out their sonic screwdrivers and scanned. </p><p>“Not snow. Ash,” he said. </p><p>“Seen that before,” she mumbled, and he looked at her, wondering if this could be something similar as he glanced up at the sky and stood, turning in a circle, and she touched the ground, immediately pulling her hand back. </p><p>“Ow!” she hissed and he turned sharply. </p><p>“You alright?” he asked, moving to her. </p><p>“Yeah,” she said, “It burned me.” </p><p>He frowned and took her hand, looking at it carefully, her palm bright pink until it turned gold as she healed herself. He clenched his jaw and kissed her hand before he looked down at the ash, and he helped her stand. They both began to look at the rest of the sidewalk, and it was all painted white. </p><p>It wasn’t pretty. </p><p>“Was this all here before?” he asked, looking at her, and she just bit her lip. </p><p>“I honestly don’t know,” she said. “Can’t remember.” </p><p>“I can’t either,” he said, alarm bells ringing in his head. “I can’t remember where the TARDIS is, at that.” </p><p>“It’s -” she started to say, but she trailed off and they locked eyes. </p><p>“Come on,” he said, grabbing her hand. They began to walk around, looking for anything that seemed familiar, a landmarker of some sort that would help him remember where their ship was, but his connection to her felt compromised as well from whatever was going on his mind and he was relying on his gut and the spin of time beneath his feet the lead them in the right direction, but it was all jumbled. </p><p>They were lost. </p><p>Rose closed her eyes and focused on her instincts, which felt untouched, about to take the lead when they turned the corner back to the main street and saw people standing still outside the shops, looking dazed. </p><p>Rose moved to one, her sonic screwdriver out, and the Doctor did the same. “Are you alright?” she asked. </p><p>“I...forgot where I’m going,” the man said, and the Doctor’s brow was creased as he looked at another person. </p><p>“Do you know where you are?” he asked her, and she nodded. </p><p>“I’m trying to go....” she whispered, unable to finish.  </p><p>“Where?” he asked, his voice calculated. She opened her mouth but no words came out, and he looked at Rose, who was nibbling on her lip. “Get inside.” </p><p>“I want to help,” she said. </p><p>“I don’t know what this is. I don’t know if it might affect the baby. Please get inside,” he said, a little more sternly than he meant to. </p><p>“Doctor, I -” she started to say, but he shook his head. </p><p>“Rose, just get inside,” he said, almost shouting, pointing toward the door to the bookshop the two people they had spoken to walked out of. She crossed her arms and was about to protest when suddenly a new cloud of ash began to pour down on the sidewalk and he grabbed her waist, running into the shop with her as the other people followed, and he soniced the door shut when they were safe. </p><p>He could see through the glass that other people were hiding out in the other stores, and the street was suddenly deserted. He sniffed, his head feeling a little fuzzy and he blinked, trying to recenter himself. </p><p>Rose was walking around the room, checking on everyone who was locked in with them, no doubtedly offering words of assurance and he tried to see where the ash was coming from, but the angle of the shop wasn’t advantageous and he sighed, turning to look at his wife. </p><p>She was holding an elderly woman’s hand, and he watched as her infectious smile rubbed off like always, and the woman was suddenly laughing. He sniffed and scanned the walls, trying to make sure they were actually safe inside, and her eyes flitted over to him. </p><p>
  <i> Everything okay? </i>
</p><p><i>Yeah. At least in here. </i> </p><p>Rose looked back at the woman, biting her lip. “Have you ever seen this before?” </p><p>“I don’t…” she said, rubbing her scaly arms slowly. “Who are you?”</p><p>Rose stood, her instincts telling her something was very bad as she crossed over to the Doctor and stood next to him. Her own brain was a little fuzzy but not too bad, and he looked at some of the books on the walls, his brow deeply creased. “I can’t remember what we talked about this morning,” he murmured, and she bit her cheek.   </p><p>“Me either,” she said, sliding her hands into his. “What do you remember?” </p><p>“You,” he said, sounding as relieved as he felt at that fact. </p><p>“I love you,” she said. </p><p>“I love you, too,” he murmured, and she sighed. </p><p>“I remember most things it’s just...small things are fuzzy,” she murmured. “Mostly from today.” </p><p>“Same,” he said, sniffing. “There has to be some sort of short term memory control in the ash. I imagine the longer we’re exposed to it the worse it might get.” </p><p>“The other’s are already pretty far gone,” she mumbled. </p><p>“Yeah, but our brains are stronger,” he said. “Vortex.” </p><p>He tapped his head then hers and she smirked despite the situation and he chuckled, trying to lighten the mood a little. Rose looked at him, watching his jaw clench.  </p><p>“Do I still have to stay in here? Instincts are telling -” Rose began, and he just looked at her. </p><p>“I don’t trust anything right now,” he said seriously. “And I need you safe. Both of you.” She nodded, not in the mood to fight with him, and he looked back out the window. “It stopped.” </p><p>“Just don’t touch it, okay?” she said, and he looked at her, kissing her as he opened the door carefully and stepped out onto the freshly fallen ash, and he felt an uneasiness course through him. </p><p>He walked forward, very careful to keep his hands to himself, but everything suddenly got fuzzier and fuzzier, as if his brain had a virus latching onto its senses, and he registered in the back of his mind that touching the ash wasn’t the problem. </p><p>Breathing it was. </p><p>
  <i> Doctor? </i>
</p><p><i>Head...feels… </i> </p><p>He collapsed against the ash, his hands burning as he touched it but he couldn’t process that. Everything was spinning and disorienting and there was a pressure in his head that made listening to Rose impossible. She felt it instantly, all his blocks going up and she covered her mouth and nose with the top of her dress, taking a deep breath as she ran to his side, pulling him back into the bookshop. She quickly closed the door, but a few people stepped out from the shop across the street and tried to investigate as well, only to collapse. </p><p>“Tell them to stop!” Rose screamed at one of the people inside with her, but suddenly everyone started to panic. There was a lot of chatter and some screams as they argued with each other but Rose couldn’t pay attention to it. She was looking at the Doctor who seemed dazed and in pain but was still awake, and she spent a few seconds healing the burns, ignoring his scream before she placed her fingers on his temples. “Do you trust me?” </p><p>“Baby?” he asked, and she didn’t know if he meant her or their child, she just felt her stomach flip. </p><p>“It’s Rose. Okay? It’s Rose and I love you and I’m going to fix this. We need you,” she whispered, and her eyes darted over his face for a moment. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” </p><p>She dove inside his mind, hoping her Instincts would be okay to lead her where she needed to go. There was no resistance at first, likely because their neurons were so connected to begin with underneath whatever spell he was under, and she pushed through, trying to find the spot that was infected. </p><p>She cried out in relief when she heard the wolf howl, the way it does when she needs a little extra help; the way it did for him when they bonded or when she sent Bad Wolf to him the day they met Rassilon, and it began to run ahead of her, guiding her through the intricate corridors of his brain. </p><p>They had talked about this in theory once, though she’d never been this deep before. He had told her how his brain had layers beyond hers, and so she knew now that the farther she went the more overloaded with information she would start to feel. She was pushing on, determined to find what she needed to when the wolf stopped in front of a door. She opened it, and for a moment all she could do was stare. </p><p>Gallifrey was falling. </p><p>She shut the door immediately, realizing it was a nightmare, images he had concocted in his head that she was sure he didn’t want her to see, and just looked at the wolf. </p><p>“Not helpful. Find him,” she said, and the wolf moved again. She ran after it, diving deeper, meeting a small amount of resistance at this next level. She closed her eyes, and sent him a wave of love. </p><p>“It’s me. It’s just me. Let me save you,” she whispered, and she opened her eyes again, finding herself looking at a large clocktower. </p><p>Time swirled around her and she realized this is where his connection to the universe must be stored, and she stopped breathing.</p><p>It was….gorgeous. </p><p>The entire sensation felt intimate and personal and she understood immediately why he was putting blocks up around it, but it was clear from one glance this is where whatever substance he breathed in had taken its toll. The clock was broken, it’s second hand barely ticking and she knew it needed to be rewound. </p><p>She stepped forward, sending more love to him, and let out a breath, climbing up to the back of the clock. </p><p>There was a lot more resistance when she did this, and she had to grab onto the ledge she was on to stop from falling, but he kept trying to kick her out and she started to scream. </p><p>It was a defense mechanism, she knew. She knew he wasn’t himself, and she just screamed louder, desperate.</p><p>“IT’S ME! IT’S ROSE!” she cried, and she grabbed the dial, twisting with all her might, before she was catapulted out of his brain, finding herself back on the floor of the bookshop.</p><p>Her head, for the first time in a very long time, <i> hurt.</i></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I know this story might seen unrelated to the others, but it's all part of the puzzle they're solving. Hope you like it so far!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. I Don't Want to Go</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He was gasping next to her and she was groaning, and his eyes fluttered open, realizing where he was. His senses were very alert and he could hear people screaming, and he looked out the window for a moment, seeing the few people who had tried to run outside currently still on the ash, unconscious, covered in burns. </p><p>He rolled over, his awareness of everything coming back to him and he saw her wincing with her hands on her face. He stared at her, immediately cupping her cheeks. </p><p>“Hey, you’re okay,” he whispered in Gallifreyan, not even realizing he was doing it. His native tongue was easier to speak at the moment and he pulled her to him, trying to figure out what happened, and he wasn’t paying any attention to the chaos as she caught her breath. </p><p>The memory of the last two minutes hit him like a freight train, and he stopped breathing entirely when he realized what the hell she had done. He tried to inhale but choked a little on the air as he held her closer. </p><p>“Oh, you clever thing…” he murmured, kissing her forehead. </p><p>He ran over everything quickly in his head, noticing his brain felt perfectly normal. It all came back to him and he let out a breath, suddenly aware of where they were and where the TARDIS was and he had an inkling into what they were dealing with as the puzzle pieces locked in his head. </p><p>He kissed her temple, feeling their connection, and he winced when he realized how much pain she was in. </p><p>“Come here,” he said, kissing her forehead. “Rose, look at me. You’re okay. I’m okay. You did it. I love you so much, you know that? You brilliant, brilliant, impossible human.” </p><p>She opened her eyes, her brain still working itself out. It was alarming her, a little, that she was reacting like this and he just clenched his jaw, watching her, and she eventually looked at him, both feeling instantly calmer the second hazel galaxies met chocolate. </p><p>“Hello,” he said, smiling at her. </p><p>“I’m sorry,” she said, and he shook his head, kissing her head numerous times. </p><p>“Don’t you dare,” he said. He peppered his kisses along her face, on her lips, down her neck, reveling in the feel of her heartbeat in his ring. “Don’t you ever apologize for that. Ever.” </p><p>“Are you okay?” she asked, her voice cracking, and he kissed her. </p><p>“Yes. Are you?” he said, the screaming still ringing behind them. She winced. </p><p>“Head hurts,” she said. </p><p>“I know,” he said, more in love with her than he ever had been. “It’s my fault, I wasn’t...May I?”</p><p>She just nodded, and he returned the favor, knowing she’d be alright as he put his fingers on her temple and eased the headache down to a dull roar. She hummed as the pressure dissipated and he pulled into a full hug, cradling her head. “Thank you,” she murmured. </p><p>“Stop that,” he said, amazed. </p><p>“What?” she asked, and he just shook his head at her.</p><p>There was so much more he wanted to say, but he looked over his shoulder and saw a small tornado of ash beginning to form on the sidewalk and he jumped up, helping her stand with him and they both ran to the window, deducting. “Baby okay?” </p><p>“Just fine,” she said, smiling, and he squeezed her hand. </p><p>“How’re your memories?” he asked, and she shook her head. </p><p>“All better,” she said, winking at him, and he looked back at the tornado. </p><p>“I have an idea,” he said, grabbing her hand and running with her. People were still having meltdowns all around them but neither could care, they just moved to the set of spiral stairs at the back of the room and began to climb up until they reached the second level, and he looked around for a window. “Look for something where the ash is coming from. A ship, anything like that.” </p><p>“Okay,” she said, reaching an area that allowed them to see more of the sky, and she looked at him. “Hum in my head feels normal, you okay if we -” </p><p>“Please,” he said, and their minds connected, instantly reminded how everything is better with two as she traced the sky with her eyes, too, until she looked down. </p><p>“Doctor,” she said, and he glanced over. The tornado had formed into a creature, small and round, almost like an armadillo and clearly made of burned ash, as if the ferocity at which the particles moved as they spun charred them. </p><p>“That's exactly what happened,” he muttered, hearing her thoughts and realizing what they were dealing with. He almost allowed himself to panic, as it had been centuries since he’d encountered these things and he would have rather kept it that way. </p><p>More small tornadoes were turning into more creatures, the ash finally thick enough to transport them here he realized, and Rose watched for a moment. There was smoke coming off their tails and small embers were spilling off of them onto the remaining ash, and Rose realized they were moving toward the bodies on the street. </p><p>He pulled her to him, covering her and clenched his jaw, thinking <i>hard.</i></p><p>“It’s an invasion,” he said, alarmed. </p><p>“Doctor, what they hell are they?” He grabbed her hand, and they ran back down to the first level. The people, including the elderly woman Rose had spoken too seemed almost possessed, walking toward the door and pulling, trying to get out onto the street. </p><p>Rose grabbed one of them and tugged them back as the Doctor just silently moved to each of them, shocking them with an electrical pulsation and putting them to sleep. </p><p>“That’s one way to do it,” Rose said and he sighed. </p><p>“They’re called the Syn,” he said, holding her hand as they stepped away from the people they knocked out and looked out the window. She waited, expecting him to ramble, but he was distracted as he watched the creatures move and she grabbed his hand. </p><p>“Not gonna lecture me?” she teased, her tongue in its usual spot, and he clenched his jaw. </p><p>“Right, sorry,” he said. “Short for Synthesis. They are an unpredictable natural result of a dying star. All the conditions have to line up perfectly for them to be born.” </p><p>“So, what, the planet is dying?” Rose asked, he shook his head. </p><p>“No, but something nearby is. Wherever they were before. They’re coming here to save themselves,” he muttered. “They do that.”  </p><p>“Met them before?” she asked and he nodded. </p><p>“They invaded Gallifrey once for the same reason. Their star was dying, just happened to be right next to us. They needed a new home,” he mumbled, but before he could finish telling her the story her mind involuntarily flashed to the images from the door the wolf stopped in front of and he stiffened beside her, unaware she had seen that. He stared at her. </p><p>“I didn’t mean to,” she whispered. “Bad Wolf….I’m so sorry. You can wipe it.” </p><p>He didn’t say anything, and his Adam’s apple bobbed, choosing instead to look back at the Syn rather than debate this or go into it at all. “They’re a brain eating amoeba. They live dormant in every piece of soil everywhere in the universe, stars...planets...but it’s rare they actually come alive. We just got lucky.” </p><p>“So the ash is the Syn or those creatures?” Rose said. </p><p>“Both. It’s all connected,” he mumbled. “The soil has to be just old enough, the planet or star they live on has to be dying at just the right pace, at just the right temperature, at just the right moment…” </p><p>“Synthesis,” Rose whispered, and he sighed. </p><p>“I’m an idiot. I should have known,” he groaned, running his hand through his hair, and she just looked at him. </p><p>“Why did it affect our memories?” she asked, trying not to let him dwell, but she put the pieces together before he did. “Brain eating amoeba...They’re mind controlling everyone aren’t they?” </p><p>“They’re goal is primitive. Survival instincts. They start by burying themselves into neurons through the ash, triggering memory loss in their victims. They just want a new home, one they don’t have to share.” </p><p>“Start?” Rose said, and he sighed. </p><p>“The ash will manifest itself deeper and deeper in the mind. The more you breathe, the faster your mind is fully corrupted. They’ll eventually kill you. I was...You saved both of us, Rose. You...” he said, finding words hard to form. </p><p>He just squeezed her hand and his words were heavy. She was deducting alongside him and the look on his face told her all she needed to know, and her stomach began to twist. </p><p>“They're a weapon of some sort, aren’t they?” she whispered and he clenched his jaw. </p><p>“They’re not going to have tea with you, if that’s what you mean,” he muttered. He sniffed, and he felt his body ease a little as she brushed her hand against his arm. “Bad Wolf showed you that door?” </p><p>“Yeah,” she whispered. “Doctor, you should just -” </p><p>“I’m not erasing your memories,” he said, locking eyes with her. “It’s just a dream.” </p><p>“I know,” she said. “I’m sorry.” </p><p>He pulled her into a hug, his nerves a little wired up as they looked back out of the window, seeing the people who were lying on the ash starting to get up, and their eyes looked red.  </p><p>“They’re like puppets…” she murmured. “How long do they have before it kills them?” </p><p>The Doctor noticed more people were starting to walk out into the street, and he knew the exposure was getting worse. “I have to go.” </p><p>“I’m coming with you,” she protested, and he just sighed. </p><p>“You can’t breathe the particles in. I have my respiratory bypass. It has to be me,” he whispered, brushing his hand over her cheek. She frowned, reaching into his pocket, hoping the TARDIS was listening and would send her what she wanted. “What are you doing?” </p><p>She let out a breath and pulled out one of their rings from Atlantis, the ones Poseidon gave them to breathe underwater, and she placed her sonic screwdriver in her mouth as she looked it over. She slipped the screwdriver back into her hand, adjusting a few settings and played with the ring, before she placed it onto her middle finger. </p><p>“There. Now I don’t have to breathe,” she said. He stared at her, impressed and little terrified, realizing he was losing this argument. </p><p>“Seriously?” he asked, and she flashed him his favorite smile. “Let me see.”  </p><p>She stopped breathing, and he watched as her heart rate never faltered in his ring, and her face never grew red. She just stood there, perfectly fine, and he closed his eyes. “Rose, it’s dangerous.” </p><p>“Always is,” she whispered. “Will it affect the baby?” </p><p>“No,” he muttered, already knowing she was coming with him no matter what he said. “How did you even -” </p><p>“I dunno, Doctor, instincts! We have to go!” she said exasperatedly, pulling on his hand, but he grabbed her arm and pulled her back to him instead, kissing her fiercely. </p><p>The urge to keep them both safe pierced his gut, and he cupped her cheeks. </p><p>“We go out that door and we run straight to the TARDIS, you got that?” he said firmly. </p><p>“Yes, sir,” she said, winking and he traced his eyes over her face, committing it to memory for the billionth time. </p><p>“You can’t breathe, Rose. Promise me,” he whispered. “Cover your mouth and nose just in case.” </p><p>He really wanted to yell, but he didn’t. It was their anniversary. </p><p>“I swear,” she said, reaching into the bag with her maternity clothes that were on the ground and pulling out one of the shirts, wrapping it over her face. He was a bundle of nerves as she grabbed his hand again as they raced out of the front doors, the bag on her arm, and they soniced the bookshop shut just to make sure no one could get out. He switched the settings on his screwdriver as they ran, locking every door on the street, trying to keep everyone safe. </p><p>The ash was <i>thick.</i></p><p>“RUN!” he screamed, and suddenly the Syn was chasing them, rolling like armadillos over the dust, kicking it up into the air. “DON’T YOU DARE BREATHE!” </p><p><i> Stop talking! </i> </p><p>They smirked at each other, still a perfect team despite the thudding of his hearts, and he squeezed her hand. Rose looked back over her shoulder and saw the clouds in the sky breaking just a little, and she stopped. </p><p>
  <i> What are you doing? </i>
</p><p><i>Look. The sky. What is that light? </i> </p><p>He glanced up, seeing what she was pointing to between the ash and clouds. </p><p>He felt his stomach flip, and he looked at her. </p><p><i> The falling star. Well done. </i> </p><p>He swallowed hard, reminding himself that Rose wasn’t that nineteen year old human girl he once knew. She was his equal in every sense of the word, and he knew she was right to come with him. </p><p>He needed her for what he was about to do. </p><p>The Syn were rolling again and he yanked her with him and they continued to run, eventually finding the TARDIS right where they’d left it, covered in ash. </p><p>He snapped his fingers so they couldn’t touch it, still amazed by the fact that that was even possible and they ran inside and shut themselves in. Rose immediately took the ring from Poseidon off, sticking it in her pocket as she rubbed the coral in thanks, both feeling the happy hum in their heads. </p><p>“She plays favorites and it’s never me,” he said under his breath, and Rose couldn’t tell if he was joking or not. He was scanning her, and she just let him, relaxing when he kissed her. </p><p>“Your head’s not fuzzy or anything, right?” he asked. </p><p>“I’m fine,” she said and he nodded, sniffing. </p><p>“Go drink some water. Please. You’re dehydrated,” he said, and she just sighed. </p><p>“I just wanted to help,” she said. He nodded. </p><p>“I know,” he said. “You are. I love you. Just...You need to take care of yourself.” </p><p>He still wanted to yell and he was trying so hard not to. She had no idea why he knew these things, or what they meant to him, and he knew she was just being <i> Rose. </i> </p><p>Strong and brave, perfect and impossible. </p><p>He turned to look at the coordinates as Rose returned to the room, handing him some water too and peered over his shoulder, and before they knew it they were in orbit around the Syn’s travelling star. She ran to the front door and opened it, and she bit her lip. </p><p>The star, as the Doctor predicted, was dying. Imploding on itself, directly above Corada. </p><p>“They must be jumping onto the closest landmass they could find,” he muttered. “Stars die. It happens. The decent thing to do would have been to die with it.” </p><p>She looked at him, sensing his storm and seeing his rage, and she knew there was a bigger story he wasn’t telling her. </p><p>“Can we save it?” Rose asked. </p><p>“No,” he said, “But we can undo the gravitational pull from the star to the planet.”  </p><p>“Send them back to the dying star?” she asked, a little surprised. “Will the people be okay?”</p><p>His face was stone as he walked back to the console and began to play with dials. He was working so quickly Rose was having a little trouble following every train of thought in his head and she stood next to him, watching the buttons he pressed and the codes he punched in, until he looked over at her. </p><p>“It’s genocide,” he whispered. “What I’m about to do.” </p><p>She stared at him, and she watched as his shoulders hunched, and she already knew what he was thinking about. “We," she whispered. "You're not alone." </p><p> He just sighed, and she reached for him. "Come here,” she said, pulling him into a hug. “What did you do before?” </p><p>“What?” he asked, and she pulled away, cupping his cheeks in her hands. </p><p>“On Gallifrey. When they invaded. How did you get rid of them?” she murmured. He looked at the ground. </p><p>“I wasn’t there,” he said. “Brax handled it.” </p><p>“What did he do?” she asked, and it wasn’t lost on him that she didn’t ask why he wasn’t home during all of this. He suspected she already knew. </p><p>“He…” he said, taking a deep breath. “It doesn’t matter, Rose.” </p><p>“Talk to me, we can’t just kill -” she said, and he groaned. </p><p>“They’re dead either way. At least if we send the Syn back we kill this colony and it’s one less -” he said, and she furrowed her brow. </p><p>“Doctor, stop. What did he do?” she shouted over him, her heart pounding, and the Doctor just closed his eyes. “Obviously we can stop these things. How?” </p><p>“Sacrificed himself,” he said. “Invited every single particle of ash into his mind and then regenerated, killing them and saving everyone else. Only a Time Lord could...” </p><p>She stared at him. </p><p>“I’m trying to decide how unselfish I want to be, Rose,” he said, his voice thick and pained. “And  I just...Because I could do it. I thought about it and then immediately didn’t think about it...But I could. I could go out and there and do exactly what my brother did...” </p><p>She couldn’t speak, and she looked down at the coordinates, hot tears spilling over. </p><p>“It would save everyone?” she whispered. He didn’t say anything, and she let out more tears, not even bothering to wipe them away. </p><p>“Rose,” he said, his own tears falling a little. </p><p>“It’s either that or kill thousands of people, right?” she said, unable to look at him. “If I wasn’t pregnant I’d do it.” </p><p>“I know you would,” he whispered. “Baby, look at me.” She fluttered her lips, realizing he was speaking to her before, when his mind was under its spell. A new endearment she was certain he wanted to try for a while and that in any other circumstance, would have made her smile. “I won’t be able to heal this body.” </p><p>Reality crashed down on her, and she gripped the edge of the console. </p><p>“Okay,” she said, unable to say more than one word. She wasn’t breathing and the room was starting to spin. </p><p>She let out a sob, wrapping herself in his arms. He kissed her head, holding her close, trying to ignore the nauseated feeling he had in the pit of his stomach. </p><p>One year of forever. That’s what this body got. </p><p>He could do so much more. </p><p>He was unbelievably sad, and angry, and a thousand other feelings, but he wanted to be there for her more than anything and he kissed her, pouring everything he had into it. She sobbed against his lips, shattering both of his hearts instantly, and he cupped her cheeks. </p><p>“Look at me,” he said, pulling away a little. “We’ve done this before, yeah? I’ll remember everything. It’ll still be me. Just, please, Rose, don’t let me wear a bloody bowtie or -”</p><p>“But bowties are cool,” she said, just trying to make him laugh one last time and he just shook his head at her. “I love you.” </p><p>She was crying uncontrollably, and he kissed her, salty tears mixing with salty tears. </p><p>“I love you so much,” he said, his own cheeks wet with tears.</p><p>Her stomach, with their child inside, brushed up against him and he froze. His tears fell a little harder, until it brushed him again and something inside of him snapped. He closed his eyes, searching timelines that he knew were probably hidden from him, and all he could think about was how he didn't know who he would become. He wanted to believe he'd be a lovely person, and Rose would be there so really it couldn't be too terrible, but he felt her stomach again and he suddenly realized he couldn’t possibly do this. He decided, in that moment, as he brushed his hand along her waist, that it was okay to be a little selfish. Just this once. </p><p>Because there was a being in the universe who was a whole lot of her and maybe a little of him. Who will one day call him ‘Dad.’ Who needed him, as much as he needed them. As much as he needed Rose. </p><p>And he wasn’t ready to be anything other than the man in the body made for her. </p><p>The universe couldn’t have him. Not yet. He refused.  </p><p>“I don’t…” he said, his tears stopping, and his brain starting to work in overdrive, thinking of some other solution. </p><p>“What?” she asked, and he smiled at her. </p><p>“I don’t want to go,” he said. “I don’t want to do this. I’m not regenerating over bloody Synthesis. There has to be another way. I want to meet our child. It’s not fair.” </p><p>She looked at him, and suddenly their devastation was manifesting into something else. </p><p>The old him, they both knew, would have wallowed in self-pity and gone out there and have been a hero because it felt like punishment and he, on some level, would always feel like he deserved to be punished.</p><p>But this new him was putting that wallowing aside. He was staring at the love of his very long life, the mother of his child, on their second wedding anniversary with tears on her cheeks and he felt a determination to grip him, and he refused to let <i>this</i> be the end of this chapter of their forever. </p><p>He refused.</p><p>“Think with me,” he said. “On the scale of what matters to me, Rose Tyler, you and our baby win everytime. The Syn just need a host. Something with strong telepathic abilities that will take them out of the brains of the people. But also something that can get them off the damn street and then -” </p><p>“Send them back to where they came from,” she said. </p><p>“Right,” he said. </p><p>“Vortex energy…” Rose said, her instincts waking up. “Stronger than any Time Lord brain, no?” </p><p>“Quite right,” he said, and in that moment they both knew the answer, and they stopped breathing as they looked at each other. </p><p>“Will she be okay?” Rose whispered, running her hand along the control panel. </p><p>“Might have to redecorate a bit,” he said. “I’ll probably have to spend hours making repairs.” </p><p>“I can help,” Rose said, looking at him with a pounding heart. </p><p>“Yes, you can,” he said, smiling widely at her, his hope surging through him like a wildfire. </p><p>“What do you say, Old Girl?” Rose whispered. “Help us hold onto forever?” </p><p>The ship hummed in both of their heads and he just looked at Rose, unable to believe he almost… </p><p>“Get over here,” he said, pulling her into a kiss. “I’m sorry.”</p><p>“None of that. I told you to,” she said. “Only you and I can save each other and also sacrifice each other in one day, can’t we?” </p><p>He laughed, kissing her head. “I love you more than anything.” </p><p>“Right back at you,” she replied. “Let’s just get this over with.” </p><p>She watched as he pulled the lever, dematerializing the TARDIS back on the planet, and he was working like a madman as he twisted new levers and new buttons, eventually looking at her, still full of newfound hope. </p><p>“We’ll have to keep the door open to make sure it’s working. I set it to automatically start the sequence. She won’t need us this time. Put your ring back on,” he said, and Rose nodded. “You ready?” </p><p>“Yes,” Rose said, and he flipped the lever over over entirely, muttering about how it was up to the TARDIS in Gallifreyan as he grabbed her hand and they ran away just as the sensor at the top began to glow, and all the ash flew in the air. </p><p>The Syn were screaming.</p><p>It was all something that was boggling her mind and she truly didn’t want to think too hard about, her instincts knew it would work, and that was enough for her. </p><p>He pulled her into the first shop they found, unlocking the door with his screwdriver and ushering her inside, and they both began to breathe again when they watched the TARDIS finish absorbing the atoms in the ash and then shot a beam of light, much like what Rose does, straight into the sky, reversing the gravitational pull from the star. </p><p>The Doctor had set the coordinates accordingly and he glanced up at the sky, watching as the light Rose had seen earlier that belonged to the imploding ball of gas began to grow brighter and brighter, and he started to laugh. </p><p>“What?” she said, looking at him in alarm. </p><p>“We’re burning up a sun,” he said, and they both started to laugh then, deep, hearty belly laughs that they couldn’t possibly try to control, and he ended up spinning her around in a circle, holding her closer than he knew he could. “I love you.” </p><p>“I love you,” she said in return, and he kissed her, relief and joy and a little bit of guilt still pouring out of him, and he didn’t even know how to begin to understand any of it. “They keep trying to split us up-” </p><p>“But they never, ever will,” he said. “Happy Anniversary.”</p><p>“Happy Anniversary, Doctor,” she said, her widest, purest smile on her face as they looked back at the TARDIS, just in time to see the light stop. </p><p>She was a little on fire. </p><p>“Come on,” the Doctor said, running out and throwing the doors open. </p><p>Half the orbs were broken and the console was smoking just a bit. He immediately ran to it while Rose grabbed a fire extinguisher and ran back outside, and she smiled at him as she put out the fire on the side of the ship. The Doctor was checking over the coral, then the controls, then the grid, and he just shook his head. </p><p>“Considering what she just went through...not bad,” he said, and Rose threw the empty can on the ground, running her hand along the wall. “Not functional yet, but...Not nearly as bad as when we met the first projection.” </p><p>“Good,” Rose said, running her hand on the wall. “Thank you.” </p><p>They could both still feel their connection to her, and this, Rose felt, had to be destiny. Another fixed point. </p><p>“Yeah,” the Doctor said, kissing her, wrapping his arms  around her waist. “Finish what we started.” </p><p>“Are you okay?” Rose asked him, and he just smiled, leaning down to kiss her again. They kissed for a few moments, lingering, loving embraces of their tongues against their mouths, and he pulled back, pressing his forehead to hers. </p><p>“Are you?” he asked, and she nodded. </p><p>“You’re here,” she said. “Don’t care about anything else.” </p><p>He pulled her into a hug, once again smelling her sweet honey mixing with pregnancy pheromones and he bit his cheek. “We should see if everyone is alright. Then come fix the ship. Then go to the villa.” </p><p>“I’d love that,” she said, smiling at him. He nodded, overwhelmed a little as he took her hand. </p><p>Everyone in the shopping district seemed to be dazed, but no one was dead, and that was a win in and of itself. They watched as people embraced, remembering who they were and where they were and recognizing their friends, and the Doctor and Rose spent nearly an hour checking on as many people as they could before the Doctor felt confident that it all actually worked. </p><p>The Syn were gone, the people were safe. Just this once, everybody lives. </p><p>He felt Rose’s exhaustion as they neared the end of their check-ups, and he glanced over at the downtown area, but as far as he could tell the TARDIS had cleared the entire planet of the ash, and he sniffed. </p><p>He’d take that. </p><p>Everyone was thanking them, still confused exactly what had happened, but they just smiled and moved on, not wanting to explain any of it for a number of reasons. </p><p>Rose saw the elderly woman and crossed to her, sitting down next to her with a smile. “I’m Rose.” </p><p>“Frida,” she said. “Did you stop whatever that was?” </p><p>“My husband and I,” Rose said, glancing at the Doctor. “I just wanted to make sure you were alright.” </p><p>“Oh, my dear,” she said. “I am. Thank you.” </p><p>Rose nodded and stood, but Frida grabbed her hand, looking at her carefully. </p><p>“You’re with child?” she asked, and Rose just nodded. </p><p>“They are in good hands with you two,” the woman said, and Rose looked at the Doctor, who just looked down at his feet, and Rose smiled at Frida. </p><p>“Thank you,” she said. “Take care, yeah?”</p><p>“You too,” Frida said, and Rose slipped her hand back into the Doctor’s, walking back to the TARDIS.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hope I didn't give anyone a scare, this went in places I didn't plan but I rather like. One more chapter in this one!</p><p>Also.... I know I said this would be fluffy. Couldn’t help myself.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Can't Miss Her</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It would be hours before they were able to snuggle on their bed and celebrate their anniversary again. </p><p>He immediately got to work on the console, throwing his suit coat over his seat so he was only in his henley and trousers, under the grating in less than five minutes, twisting and tugging and snipping and melding while she got herself some food, her hunger a little rampant. </p><p>She showered, feeling like warm water would calm her down a little. She was okay, she was, but she was also still a little…</p><p>She didn’t have a word to describe it, but she knew he was feeling it too. </p><p>She pressed her forehead to the wall as the water poured down her back, dripping onto the floor and swirling into the drain, and she closed her eyes. Watching him sacrifice himself was a fear she couldn’t wrap her head around, a fear she’d lived through, a fear that made stomach churn and her entire body recoil, and she was standing here now a little overwhelmed because today had proven to her that as much as she fears it, she knew it was an inevitable possibility they might face at any moment. </p><p>And that was a hard pill to swallow for some reason. Hormones. She was blaming the hormones. </p><p>Her hand came to rest on her stomach, and she let some tears spill over, knowing he was busy making repairs and even if he were feeling every bit of emotion she was right now, he’d leave her alone.</p><p>He knew she needed a moment. </p><p>Her love was unconditional. He could change his face and she would still love him. Of course she would, and she knew he knew that. That thought wasn’t the one twisting her stomach at the moment, it was entirely the idea of watching him die again, and she just <i>can’t</i> handle that idea. </p><p>His scream in Venice suddenly sounded in her ears. </p><p>She poured shampoo into her hands and massaged it into her hair, letting her mind wander. She put all her energy into not thinking about what didn’t happen, and instead focused on what did. </p><p>They saved the day, and they were both okay. </p><p>The water was still pouring onto her body as she added conditioner, then began to massage her tired muscles with her loofah, the smell of honey filling the ensuite. She eventually turned the water off and quickly got dressed in her rubber duck pajama pants and a tank top, grateful it was all fairly loose and would accommodate her small bump, and she threw her damp hair into a braid, walking to the galley to make some tea and eat a little bit more. </p><p>When she did finally join him in the console room, he was muttering under his breath and was still under the grating. “Hey, you.” </p><p>“Hey,” he said, popping his head out. “How are you feeling?” </p><p>“Better,” she said. “How ‘bout you?” </p><p>“I’m okay,” he said, smiling at her. She set a cup of tea on the grating above him and he smiled at her again, stopping for just a moment to take a sip. “I’m still really sorry.” </p><p>“I told you not to be,” she said. “I…” </p><p>He looked at her, noticing her rubber ducks. She reserved them for hard days and he watched as she just sipped her tea, her legs dangling into the grid with him, and he moved so his hands were on her knees, stopping her movements. He kissed her, slow and soft, both of their tongues tasting of tea, and she wrapped her arms around his neck. He deepened the kiss for a moment, his tongue brushing her lips before he pulled away and let out a deep breath. </p><p>“You smell incredible,” he admitted, and she burst out laughing. </p><p>“I love you,” she said. That was the last thing she expected him to say and he knew it. He just winked at her, wrapping her in a hug. “Can I help?” </p><p>“You want to?” he asked, perfectly content not to unpack all they went through just yet. She nodded and he stepped aside. “I’m rewiring the landing grid.” </p><p>“Okay,” she said, biting her lip. “You’re almost done?” </p><p>“Mhm,” he said. She looked at it the entire thing carefully, and tried to remember what she could about the make-up of the ship, and she stepped back. </p><p>“I’ll go grab a new fluid link,” she whispered, her eyes dancing with his. </p><p>“You know what those are?” he asked, clicking his tongue against his teeth. She just flashed him his favorite smile and crawled out of the grating, heading to his supply closet. He watched her the entire time as she looked through his many boxes, the ones she had reorganized countless times and he still manages to mess up again, and she eventually found what she was looking for, returning to his side and jumping into the grating. </p><p>“How do I remove the old one?” she asked, and he felt his groin pulse looking at her. </p><p>“Setting 9,” he whispered, and she grabbed her sonic screwdriver and scanned, the fluid link popping out of place so she could replace it. She grinned at him, and he just shook his head in amazement as she successfully fused it all together, and then moved to pull her up so he could kiss her. “I think I remember telling you I can’t handle it when you do that.” </p><p>“You did,” she said softly, laughing as he pulled her into a long kiss. He wrapped his arms around her tightly, brushing his hand along her back and he moaned, wanting her quite badly, but also wanting to get these repairs done so they could just be together and not feel like they had more work to do and she pulled away, brushing his hair off of his face. “What else?” </p><p>“Do you want to check the monitor?” he whispered, finding it nearly impossible to let her go as she jumped up and moved to the controls. </p><p>“It’s okay,” she said. They locked eyes, and he found his desire getting the best of him, remembering he almost… </p><p>He suddenly needed to <i>feel</i> her more than he could even begin to describe. </p><p>“Come here,” he said, and she did, sitting back on the grating as he immediately pulled her to him, everything getting heated as his hands began to rub her sides, and she slipped the henley over his head. </p><p>“You’re right, that is easier,” she said, and he grinned wolfishly at her. </p><p>They made their way to the bedroom, leaving their sonic screwdrivers, wrenches, and supply closet wide open as their clothing made its way to the ground, and he pulled her legs apart, his tongue desperate to taste her. </p><p>Regenerating, for him, is a messy concept. </p><p>As his tongue darted in and out of her, as she arched her back against the mattress, and he moaned against her heat and as she gripped his hair, he was thinking about how <i>he</i> would never have been able to do this again had he gone through with it. </p><p>He would, of course. In a new body. With two new hearts. With all the memories from this incarnation and his nine others mixing together, but there was something about this body that made regenerating this time around different. </p><p>It terrified him in ways he knew it shouldn’t. </p><p>But he knew that this body was made for Rose. And he had changed so much since he became this man. He had learned so much, forgiven so much, seen so much, loved <i> so much. </i> </p><p>Created a life. </p><p><i> Everything that I am dies and some new man saunters away. </i> </p><p>He’d said that to her once. And that was the crux of whatever he was feeling at the moment, he knew. </p><p>He felt like he was finally who he was meant to be, in this thin frame with wild hair and he just… </p><p>She screamed his name, pulling him back into the room and he immediately pulled his tongue away so he could catch her release with his mouth, not wanting to miss any bit of her tonight. He moved to hover over her and melted their bodies together before she had caught her breath, moving instantly, causing her to moan, and her name fell from his lips like a song. </p><p>Neither said much at all. </p><p>It was solace, it was joyful. It was hot and sweaty ‘I almost lost you’ passionate love-making, the kind that usually lasted much longer than usual. Their pace was careful, their heartbeats synced as much as they could in their rings, he watched her soar twice more and groaned as she did. Her hair fell out of its braid and he hissed her name, needing more. </p><p>More Rose. More. </p><p>His kisses grew sloppier as his need grew stronger, and he was afraid to blink. Afraid he would miss her in some way, and his forehead pressed against hers as he felt his own climax building, knowing he would soon fall like the sun they burned together, and they both felt tears of relief stream down their cheeks. </p><p>“Rose…” he whispered. “Rose, Rose, Rose….” </p><p>“I know,” she said, and she held him to her as he came undone, collapsing against her. “I’ve got you.” </p><p>He didn’t say anything, not for many minutes as he tried to collect his thoughts, and eventually he looked at her, his breath stopping the moment hazel galaxies swam in chocolate and he kissed her again. </p><p>“Forever,” he whispered, and she smiled. </p><p>“Forever,” she repeated, and he let out a breath, not allowing himself to feel upset about the decision he almost made, and instead cupped his hands to her cheeks. </p><p>“I don’t want to dwell,” he said. “But I do want to thank you.” </p><p>She didn’t say anything, and she bit her lip. “I pushed you to do it, though. I’m so mad at myself, I didn’t even try to -” </p><p>“Not that,” he whispered. “None of that, Rose, please. No you didn’t, and I don’t want to talk about that. I meant...You dove into my mind today. Do you know how incredible that is?” </p><p>She just looked at him, and he smiled. “That was today, wasn’t it?” </p><p>He burst out laughing, leaning down to kiss her. “I know. A lot happened.” </p><p>“I didn’t know what else to do,” she whispered. “I just had to try.” </p><p>He smiled at her, rubbing his thumb against her cheek. “You saved me.” </p><p>“You saved me, too,” she whispered, and he just tilted his head to look at her. </p><p>“Marriage,” he murmured, and she felt new tears spill over a little, wiping them away with the back of her hand. “You’re my best friend, you know that?” </p><p>For some reason these words, more than any other, nestled themselves next to her heart, and she pulled him into a hug. </p><p>“You’re mine,” she whispered, and he smiled. </p><p>“I’m sorry I kicked you out like I did,” he said, looking back at her. “I wasn’t all there. It’s not something I would ever do. Not with you, I…” </p><p>“I know,” she said. “We have a pretty deep bond, mister.” </p><p>“That we do,” he said. “Still.” </p><p>He pressed his lips to her bare chest, sighing a little, and he rolled over to the side so she could rest on him instead, his hand on her belly. </p><p>She was tracing small circles onto his chest, neither in a hurry to move, and he kissed her forehead. </p><p>Many minutes passed before he spoke again. </p><p>“We took my mother there,” he whispered. “When she was pregnant with Alice.” Rose looked up, feeling her heart skip a beat. “That’s how I knew about the store.” </p><p>“Doctor,” she whispered, and he just shook his head. </p><p>“I’m okay,” he said. “I went with my father and Brax. I was about fourteen. Looked about ten.” </p><p>“Right, your weird aging thing,” she teased, and he chuckled. “Did she like it?” </p><p>“She did, I think,” he said. “I wasn’t really paying attention when we were there to be honest.”</p><p>“Well, what teenage boy would?” she said, her tongue in its usual spot he laughed. </p><p>“I remember her complimenting the clothes months later, so…” he said, and she snuggled closer to him. </p><p>“They’re perfect,” she assured him, kissing his shoulder. “Thank you.” </p><p>“Of course,” he said softly. </p><p>He closed his eyes, suddenly not thinking about very much at all, his entire world was in his arms where he knew she was safe, and nothing else mattered very much anymore. </p><p>She drifted off after half an hour or so, exhaustion catching up with her and he eventually moved back to the console, spending the next several hours finishing all the repairs. He knew he should sleep, too, but he just couldn’t. He wanted this behind them, and he looked up at the orbs, seeing that they were healing themselves, too. </p><p>He kept working on his repairs, his thoughts only of Rose. His brain, he knew, was much too large and potential for dread to trickle back in was high, but he wasn’t letting it in. </p><p>He refused. </p><p>The ship was giving him the all clear after six hours and he took a deep breath, moving to the controls and typing the coordinates in for the villa, knowing she’d be happy about that when she woke up. </p><p>He knew they still needed to go see Donna and Martha and check in with Jack and Mickey, he knew they still had a lot of unanswered questions, but he looked at the Turtle Star from the edge of the TARDIS door, the trees blowing in the breeze, and he simply couldn’t worry about that right now. </p><p>There’s something to be said about surviving. </p><p>He felt Rose approach before she did. He let out a breath when her arms wrapped around his waist, both looking up at the stars from the ship. </p><p>Neither spoke, but his hand came to rest over hers, his thumb brushing over her skin. Her lips pressed into his shoulder and she moved to his side, letting his arm drape over her shoulders as he leaned against the doorframe. </p><p>He found the spot in the sky Gallifrey used to sit, and he darted his eyes away quickly. </p><p>“Allons-y,” he said, holding her hand, and they walked up the path of sand to the blue doors to their home without the mortgage, their timeline unfolding with each passing second.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Let me know what you think! I promise everything will all come together, but it's a rather complex and large timeline in my head. </p><p>Also, in case you haven't read the other stories - this series is basically an alternate timeline. The alternate universe was created when the Doctor decided to go back for Rose instead of sending his projection to say goodbye. Thanks for reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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